Both of them fail to understand there are things in the boy’s behavior that are fundamental and would be difficult to change.And when it comes to the getting rid of baby fat; blame biology for that, not the girl.4.One myth that many couples believe is “Opposites attract and are more likely to stay together.”However, the truth as told by Terri Orbuch in her book, Finding Love again is, “If you want to find someone to grow old with, look for someone who has values and attitude that are similar or compatible to yours.”In other words, those values and attitudes about things like religion, money, family, and careers are very important.2. Then after the wedding, she notices that those traits she hated were nothing but the tip of an iceberg.Of course as the rest of the iceberg appears, so does divorce.3.She expects him to change…and he expects her to stay the same.In this story, she expects him to stop flirting with other women, start respecting women, while he expects her to stay slim and fit and beautiful even after the baby.
In the creative arts, there is a saying: “Good is the enemy of great.” And I’d say the same applies to relationships. If you’re not saying aloud (or at least to yourself) “I love you” to your mate in 6 months or less, hit the “next” button.
You’ve probably heard of couples who’ve been dating for years before marriage, and then it takes only one year of marriage to send them scrambling for divorce, citing “irreconcilable differences” as a reason. Weren’t they aware of those irreconcilable differences before marriage?
So the irreconcilable differences just fail to get mentioned during those thousands hours reciting poetry, breaking out in dance and following the moon together as they chat on the phone. Boy meets girl, falls in love, starts a relationship…Somewhere along the road, the girl notices there’s a trait in the guy she doesn’t like, but she compromises, and compromises and compromises…according to the sunk cost fallacy, she goes ahead with the marriage because she has invested so much of her time, emotions and (in the case of a conservative society that frowns upon dating) maybe even her reputation.
It means determining what is important to you and pursuing your aspirations.
Michelle Lu, a junior at Pepperdine University, finds the commitment conflicts true: “Everyone is in a different place in life, so it's hard to date as a freshman.” If you’re anxious to date someone, especially when you’re so early in your college career, be sure you note that everyone has a busy schedule.